a dogmatic dinosaur dead to rights

Having suffered Bill Murchison's breezy, empty newspaper editorials as a Dallas resident many years ago, enjoyed reading this Firedoglake takedown comparing him to Dr. Smith from the old Lost in Space TV show--for the use of self-satisfied alliterations, among other irritants ("Come along, you bubble-headed booby").

Murchison has written an article about how he prefers good writing to bad writing. He starts this article with a first sentence that he seems quite proud of, something Classic along the lines of “Call me Ishmael” or similar. Unfortunately it reads rather more like “Ishmael is the call-me I go by, old bean!” Or something:

Can’t stand to watch the English language’s losing encounter with the culture of who-cares-anyway?

To which the most common answer would probably be, “what the hell does that mean?” A more sensible answer would be, “fuck you and stop bothering me,” because that would not encourage Murchison to explain himself. Which he does, painfully and at length. His point, such as it is, is that he disagrees with a professor who wrote a book arguing that, in his paraphrase, “English, like a turbulent stream, is dynamic: always refreshing itself with new modes and models and images.” He takes exception.

So what about all this, then? Has Lynch got us dogmatic dinosaurs dead to rights? Not quite, I think. English is dynamic. Still, we can’t let the matter drop just there. The notion of language as a bulletin board for faddists needs no new friends. I fear it has too many already.

Dear Lord, someone gave Dr. Smith a Townhall column. This is a bubbling brew of barbarous bullshit, a craptastic collection of vertiginous verbiage!

Before the internet you were a captive audience for local media monopolies and their pet intellectuals--Firedoglake doesn't emphasize enough that Murchison isn't just "a wingnut" but a decades-long columnist for the Dallas Morning News.

Tyrannosaurus Rex - "Wind Cheetah"

Have been listening closely to Marc Bolan's A Beard of Stars LP lately. Hated it when I was younger because it is so affected. (A friend calls this "Hobbit Rock" and Bolan's sideman was named Steve Peregrine Took, for chrissakes.) But the drony, double-tracked guitars heard through headphones have won me over and am giving the lyrics a second listen. This is a combination of Internet and ear ("day" sounds like "neigh" to me but it makes no sense):

Her with moon trodden prow
Herds of African cows
Graze on her beauty
Fragrant and pale

Young once, youthful still now
Muse to the willow and ploughed fields arched with orchids
Blooms of the stars

Day whipped his black dray
Opaque orphan of Ring
Myrrh coated rider
Ride a husband to Matron the King

Stream of yellowy mud
Run to the one that I love
Chained to the chalky
Chalice of night.

"Matron the King" was some serious gender bending for its day. "Ride a husband" for that matter. The whole line ties sex identity into a pretzel. She with moon trodden prow (not "her" but that's a quibble) is a river that runs like a cheetah--the combination of Africa and medieval Europe is strange and we may be missing something.

Update, May 2017: Finally saw a lyric sheet with Bolan's words. "Guider husband to Matron the King" is the main difference -- even stranger. Here's the official version:

Her with moon trodden prow
Herds of African cows
Grazed on her beauty
Fragrant and pale.
Young once, youthful still now
Muse to the willow and ploughed
Fields arched with orchids
Blooms of the stars.
Day whipped his black dray
Opaque orphan of Ring
Myrrh coated rider
Guider husband to Matron the King
Streams of yellowy mud
Run to the one that I love
Chained to the chalky
Chalice of night.

Everybody is a

Regarding the press copy for Boris Groys' upcoming lecture at SVA, "Everyone is an artist," as the blogger Atrios might say, "The Stupid! It burns me!!!"

Contemporary art has become a mass cultural practice. Millions of people create their own archives and present them to others. Artistic rights have begun to manifest themselves as general human rights. Joseph Beuys' famous maxim, "everyone is an artist" is no longer a prediction of a utopian future but rather an accurate description of the status quo.

For "artist" substitute "surgeon," "air traffic controller," "poet," "novelist," or "serialist composer" to get the full flavor for how bad this passage is. With instant censorship on YouTube and the destruction of federally-funded artist grants the climate for "artistic rights" remains as poor as it's ever been in the US. When we artists killed formal criticism in the '80s (which is not the same as "formalist" although the two overlapped) we made ourselves sitting geese for shaky shoulder-held missile launchers like Groys. Any other field would not tolerate this kind of loose, "happy talk" writing about what its practitioners do. Odd that the School of Visual Arts participates in its own de-certification in this way.

Concerning the Beuys quote, can't remember where this comes from but it's relevant: "There's a saying in Bali, 'no one is an artist,' which is to say everyone is." Well, the US is not Bali. Puritan roots are as embedded here as hookworm. Sharing your pics on Facebook does not make you polymorphously perverse. Or good.

Update: Attended the Groys lecture at SVA and his rap wasn't as bad as the press release (he has a sense of humor). He didn't say a word about "Artistic rights have begun to manifest themselves as general human rights" --who the heck wrote that? Notes on the lecture are here.

Update 2: Am now reading Groys' book Art Power. There is a chapter called "Equal Aesthetic Rights" but no statement in it as idiotic as ""Artistic rights have begun to manifest themselves as general human rights." "Equal aesthetic rights" is ironic: another term for what's been called "unibrow"--a mix or leveling of so-called high- and lowbrow. Will update again about this, but it's looking like Groys could sue SVA for making him sound like a dork.

temporal neurosis, music, and sales culture

Future Shock of the Month Award goes to disquiet.com for its post on Apple music apps and interface lag. Seems that the designers change the buttons as fast as consumers learn them. This complaint is by no means restricted to Apple, or even music production, for that matter. If you find a type of toothpaste you like (whitening + tartar control + sensitive gums + low radiation) the next time you go to buy a tube it will not be there and you will have to figure out whether "non-darkening + TartarGone + gum care + radiation free" will work just as well. Apparently there is a class in MBA school now called Consumer Anxiety and the Myth of Brand Loyalty.

In the software world the main rule is "If it ain't broke, fix the shit out of it." Thus constant useless "upgrades" keep the consumer rattled and plugged into the changing product specs.

It is possible to drop out of the rat race and just work with one program, as it ages into near-obsolescence and gives your music a wonderful "retro" vibe. Eventually the platform or operating system will change and then you will spend all your time buying and maintaining old computers, burrowing as anxiously into the past as your contemporaries are trying to catch up with the future. Or, you could buy a flute, but then fairly soon none of your peers will know any of the songs you are playing on it.