This was originally called Mr. Vomit but we aren't having any of that around here. The name changed with the GIF mod.
Update, Jan '04: This was originally a Yoshi Sodeoka GIF (probably this one) posted to dump.fm without attribution. The second time I've shortened his work without knowing what it was. Next time will recognize the style.
Humorless pink-shirted associate at T-Mobile: "How can I help you today?"
Rebellious sage: "I need some minutes for my phone."
Hpsaatm: "OK. Hmmm, whoops. I was going to help you using this tablet but there's no signal. Can you come with me over to the desk?"
Rs: "Yeah, those tablets are a really bad idea."
Hpsaatm: [Blank look with a hint of condescension]
a beat
Hpsaatm: "OK, the desk computer's up. What's the phone number?"
Rs: [Gives number]
Hpsaatm: "There's no name showing here."
Rs: "Right, it's one of those burner type deals."
Hpsaatm: "That's fine, I don't need the name. But we do recommend for your safety and security that you give us a name."
Rs: "Just out of curiosity, what could happen?"
Hpsaatm: "Someone could claim their phone was stolen and use your number if they had it."
Rs: "I've had the number for years and that's never happened -- I'll take the risk. In fact [feels a rant coming on] this is one of the last services where you don't have to give your name, and that's great. I assume it's because T-Mobile is a German company."
Hpsaatm: "Not anymore, it just became an American company."
Rs: "Well then, guess what -- the policy will change. This time next year you'll ask my name, address and Facebook."
Hpsaatm: "We just ask your name, that's all. Your reasons for not giving it are your business."
Update, February 2021: It took a while but T-Mobile appears to be out of the burner phone business. Rebellious sage is still able to buy minutes for his "legacy" burner phone but when it breaks the only way he'll be able to get a phone from this company is to buy a "plan" and give up all his contact info. Tracfone, here we come.
