Unsystematically Oppositional is buying Sauvignon Blanc at the yuppie wine store. At the counter, as he sets down his merchandise for purchase, he notices a brand of rum, prominently displayed next to the register, called "Three Sheets."
He comments on it to the fresh-faced Employee ringing him up. The following convo ensues:
Unsystematically Oppositional: Three Sheets -- that's not very romantic.
Employee (feigning politeness): What do you mean?
U.O.: That's a brand you buy when you're just looking for something to get the job done.
Employee: How so?
U.O.: Uh -- the expression "three sheets to the wind"? It means stinko... blotto.. hammered...
Employee: Ah, hadn't heard that. I will recommend it to anyone who says they plan to spend Valentine's Day alone.