don't touch my screen

no_touchscreen

My "netbook" from four years ago died. Netbooks no longer exist so I searched for an "ultrabook," which is Intel's brand name for a lightweight laptop based on the Macbook Air design.
The challenge was finding one that was new, cheap, didn't use Windows 8.1, and had no touchscreen. Miraculously I found an HP model meeting all these criteria and will be able to use Windows 7 for another four years. It took me about an hour to get all the HP proprietary crap off of it but it's working fine now for email, websurfing, simple graphics, playing music, and other basic functions from the pre-"app" universe.

hat tip foot for hand drawing

Update: The ultrabook above was for illustrative purposes. The model I actually got doesn't have the "mp3 ready" logo that a sharp-eyed viewer was making fun of.